The Toilet Nazi of Zagreb

Zagreb really is a wonderful city filled with excellent museums, Austro-Hungarian architecture and beautiful parks. An interesting feature of Zagreb and Croatia in general is the toilet situation. Now in many countries we have been in, the toilets are less than respectable, however the Croatians are clearly up there with the Dutch in terms of enjoying a good clean john.

Perhaps the most notable example of toilet obsession is the character whom we have come to dub as "The Toilet Nazi of Zagreb"...

She is a little old woman who runs the bathrooms in a really great Italian restaurant "Boban" and she runs it as if it is her own personal fiefdom. She also looks exactly like Cousin Ezmeralda from "Bewitched" which is odd in itself.

In exchange for a 1 Kuna fee, she keeps both the ladies and mens' rooms clean and stocked, but don't cross her. If she feels you are not using the materials properly she will actually come up and grab your arm and redirect you to the facilities, she thinks you should be using ie: a particular soap box, towelette rack etc...Last night she chided me for looking too closely at a hair gel dispenser and concerned that I might mistake it for the soap, forced me away and to another sink.

She also waits like a cat for you to leave your stall so she can rush in after and inspect and if she feels you abused the stall, will start mopping out the place while making loud comments in Croatian about your hygiene or worse.

Young Croatian women are stunners, looking a bit like Julie Christie during her sixties hey day. I could only pity the young, beautiful blonde, who tonight, left her stall only to find the toilet Nazi lying in wait outside. She marched in as soon as the young lady departed, and stood staring directly down the hole only to flush and flush the can while clicking her tongue. The stunner had to stand, meanwhile in full view of all washing her hands as if nothing had happened.

I got off easy as I knew the drill. All she could do (after standing staring directly down the hole) was to take towels and immediately wipe down the door handles. For good measure she threw the towels in the bowl and flushed and flushed as some warning shot off my bow: "You flush good this time...but next time, watch out!"

Best is quitting time. Around 10 pm she gets her coat and prepares to leave her bathroom kingdom. However the idea that you might, just as soon as she leaves, muss up the place or use the wrong hair dryer is too much for her. She must imagine that each patron will go ape shit when she departs and spew toilet tissue around the place. Thus she hovers about, purse in hand, watching you like a hawk and following each patron out to make sure nothing is amiss...not at least on her watch. Now if only she could come and supervise the bathroom at my workplace...