GPS tries to Kill us Again

I think Glynda the Possessed Evil GPS in our former car rental decided a new method to try and get rid of us.

I had earlier described her attempts to have us straight off a mountain and dead.

Putting in an actual hotel address from Bom Jesus de Monte to Porto filled me with confidence. This time she would not be able to trick us...

However her new ruse was to drive us straight into Porto, right at the height of rush hour, on a Friday, and confound us so much we would have a heart attack simply from stress.

From her taut British accent I can only imagine the malevolent chuckles she produced privately which we were not party to.

Her first rule of order was to reassure us over and over that our destination was less than a kilometer away.

An ancient man sees us drive into his shed then try and back up. He smiles and waves.

GPS into action: Next, sharp rights and lefts, then she had us driving along a sidewalk: yes a real sidewalk with trees and things.

Then "next sharp right!"...again on the same sidewalk. The old man smiles and waves at us again as we drive along tram tracks. Yes tram tracks - walled tram tracks.

Follow Glynda and she demands we go the wrong way into an active roundabout while we again drive the sidewalk and the ancient man smiles and waves as we drive by.

Catherine forces the car with a monster deductible into a real road like a mother cat holding a small China figurine in her mouth, so Glynda can GPS things other than that guy's driveway.

With my guide book, ripped pieces of paper and a "tourist map" I come to accept what I suspected all along.

We are not in the Vila De Gaia de  Nova of Porto. Rather a far, far suburb north of the new football stadium. Probably 20 km away.

I just program the nearest big street and follow Glynda hoping she will take mercy.

The rain is pouring and the fog so thick we can't see a foot front. She tells us we are at destination. I jump out and find a teen walking by.  "Falar Ingles?"

"Yes, of course" 

"Do you know where this hotel is?"

"Of course just walk up the stairs ...there". The fog was so thick I could barely see the car.

We pulled up to the hotel and the car rental guy was waiting for us.

Catherine says we would have been here hours ago but your GPS got us lost all the time. It tries to kill us I added.

"So I hear this all the time, I don't think GPS works so good in Portugal"